I know exactly how you feel…
In fact, I’ve been in your shoes.
I’ve felt the pressure of feeling like something needs to change or else you’re never going to build the life you want to.
I’ve felt the frustration that comes from not knowing what to do or where to start.
If that sounds like you, this might be the most important letter you’ve ever read.
I remember it like it was yesterday…
It was September 15, 2012.
I had just moved to another state where I knew no one except my husband. I’d left a wonderful job and a seasoned career in order to follow my husband’s career aspirations. I left all friends and family behind. My real estate experience in another state meant nothing in a new town where I had to GPS to the grocery store.
No job, and no real prospects.
I had bigger problems still. I was in a fierce custody battle with my child’s father, and the lawyer bills were mounting. I was isolated on so many levels. I missed everything I left behind, and could feel my identity vaporizing. I could not get happy. About anything.
I worked out. I tried to read some self-help books, but couldn’t finish them. I read the “Fifty Shades of Gray” series and hated myself for finding it somewhat entertaining. I had an English degree for Chrissake.
I drank more Corona and ate a lot of Mexican food.
I obsessively cleaned the house we lived in, and waited for my husband to come home after 12 and 14-hour days.
I ruminated over my situation, searching for an “answer” to the black cloud that seemed to follow me. I cried buckets of tears, lamenting my circumstances, seeing no way forward that was meaningful or purposeful.
Every conversation with my husband turned to the custody battle with my child’s father, which my husband hated. I talked in circles and tortured both of us over not having an answer that made any sense. I questioned why we ever moved in the first place.
More tears, more sadness, more emptiness.
I realized I needed to do something to shore myself up, to chase away the storms of anxiety and depression that were following me like stray cats.
And then it hit me.
If I don’t do something, I am going to wash myself out to sea in an ocean of pity, self-loathing, shame.
I was at the lowest point I had ever been in, and could not see a way out.
The search began.
I researched graduate schools where I could get a degree in Mental Health Counseling. I reasoned that the fastest way to escape this marathon of guilt, humiliation and shame was to counsel myself right out of it. I found the perfect fit at a graduate school that offered a Master’s in Counseling degree, located only a couple miles from my house.
I’d always been a good student, and couldn’t wait to dive into my textbooks. I read them voraciously, convinced the answers to my issues were buried deep within. I rifled through the DSM-V, the manual that counselors and medical professionals use to diagnose patients with mental health disorders. I found explanations, theories, techniques, and ethical dilemmas, but no straightforward way to address how I was feeling.
I excelled in all my classes, turned in A+ papers and aced the exams.
The irony began to set in.
How could I be such a great counselor and not know what the hell was wrong with myself?
It seemed like it should have been so easy, but it wasn’t.
My frustration level mounted as I searched in vain for a “formula” to fix myself. The weeks became months, and school became a grind. I tirelessly worked at my studies, prepared for court appearances to duke it out with my child’s father, and desperately clung to my current husband for love and support through it all. Life seemed to hang in the balance and I was joyless, tired, and afraid of what might happen next.
As if things couldn’t have deteriorated further…
One afternoon I opened the cell phone bill for our Family Share plan. The paper bill was unusually dense, and I carefully read the details wondering if it too was now delinquent. The blood raced to my face as I saw lists of one number, dialed repeatedly from my husband’s phone, over and over. Phone calls…texts…at all hours, day and night. The numbers on the page blurred through my rage and my stomach dropped to the floor.
Of course. His super-attractive boss, a sorority girl in a past life, free of family obligations but for a grown son.
And here I was. Needy, clingy, on the verge of tears most of the time.
The pit of despair I was in just got deeper.
Then, my husband was fired, and we moved again.
This time, it was even further away from my friends and family.
Moving again only added more fuel to the custody fire. More court appearances were on the way.
I had to take the summer off from my graduate work to accommodate the move.
No job. No friends. No acquaintances.
Another town where I had to GPS the grocery store.
I lost weight and felt numb. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I lived each day not knowing if my husband was having an affair and just didn’t have the heart to cut me loose, or if I was somehow causing him to act on his wanderlust.
After all, I wasn’t exactly a barrel of monkeys to be around.
I was in a spiral of shame, humiliation, guilt, and embarrassment. Some days were worse than others, but I could depend on an unhealthy combination or trifecta of any of those painful emotions most of the time. Eventually, these emotions would seat themselves in my body as acute urinary tract infections, which left me bedridden and doubled over with pain.
I sought the help of a notable urologist in the town we lived in, and he declared me “healthy.” The searing pain and intensity had no pathology he could find. When he asked me, “What else do I need to know?” the question left me speechless.
I didn’t have the slightest clue where to begin. Could it be possible that my stress levels were causing all of this? Was it really all in my head?
And then, I had a crazy idea.
I was almost done with my degree and in the internship phase. No more textbooks, so I was reading any other material I could get my hands on when it came to counseling and self-help. I was interning in a biofeedback clinic, where we treated people using neurofeedback. Brain training was not the only type of training the clinic offered though. There was body-based training also, and one of the managers of the clinic was a self-described healer who had amazing gifts.
I took my traditional psychotherapy training, my textbook information, and my real life experience and threw it into a mental crucible.
I finally began to see the beginning of a path to heal myself.
Patients typically came to the clinic I worked in as a last resort. They had tried everything else. Medical treatments, surgeries, drugs and medicines, surgeries, you name it.
Sometimes our clinic would be the magic ticket.
Sometimes it wasn’t.
But it finally occurred to me that those who healed had gotten there trying a variety of different approaches, sometimes all at the same time, one after the other, or some combination thereof.
They kept going up and down the list of treatment options, doggedly trying until something worked.
And for those that kept trying, something did eventually work for them.
It was the try that made the difference. And the support. The support is what carried these patients through.
Finally, I had the answer. I knew what to do.
I opened my own practice and began implementing my solution.
Time and again, I saw my clients bounce back from despair, overwhelm, and depression.
I could have saved myself so much time and trouble had I known what I know now.
What surprised me most is that not only did clients bounce back, but they leveraged their success to make their lives even better than before-therapy baseline.
Their lives were better than what they had before.
Their lives were better than what they’d ever imagined.
This approach to emotional healing saves time and money, and gives the power back to you, the individual, in a way that traditional self-help books don’t. No sermonizing, no “this is why you are flawed” lectures.
I sometimes think that if I had come to this solution sooner, I probably could have saved my marriage.
It’s an idea whose time has come.
This is a fun, straightforward way to take back your life, with atta’ boys and atta’ girls all the way through to the finish line.
This is the guide that will take your New Year’s Resolutions from half-assed attempts to solid results.
This is the guide that asks the tough questions, but gently points you in the direction of the answer that works for you, in YOUR life.
This is the guide that challenges you to go from living small to living the life you dream about.
It’s called “Hopscotch to Happiness” (H2H for short).
And if you are finally ready to take control of your life, if you are ready to get out of your own way, then you are in the right place.
Nothing like this exists anywhere else.
Let me show you how it works…
Pick Your Realm and Design
Your Plan in Under 5 Minutes
#1: Pick the Areas in Your Life that You Would Like to Work On
As soon as you receive the e-book, you see that the Realms are named:
Pick one or two areas that you know need some attention in your life. Or, you can start at the Physical Realm and go, in order. There is no right or wrong way/approach. Remember, it’s the “try” that we are after.
#2: Pick the strategies that work for you.
This isn’t a lock-step program. This is the self-guided, self-directed tour of YOU that you design and put into practice.
Pick the easy stuff to start with…have fun with it. If you can’t have fun with this, why bother?
#3: Watch your life transform in as little as 30 days.
Chart your progress on the Journal Pages.
If you can’t document it, it didn’t happen. I even provide sample journal pages, so you know what it looks like to really get your money’s worth out of this e-book.
It’s time to dig deep, and nothing says “progress” like being able to look back and where you started, in comparison to where you are now.
Try your strategies for 30 days, and then pick another one to add to the mix. The key is to seat these strategies firmly in your life, for lasting impact.
As they say in AA, “it works when you work it!”
#4: Support and more support…
I think loneliness is defined by wanting to share an idea that’s super-important to you… but having no one to share it with.
During my transformational journey, the missing piece for me was a community of like-minded souls. People who could relate. People who could laugh or cry with me.
A supportive community can be the difference between deciding you are absolutely, 100% batshit crazy, or just having a “moment.”
That was always missing for me, and on more than one occasion I honestly questioned my sanity. Sadly, I am sure my closest friends and family members did, as well. Things got a little hairy for me there, for a while. I was covered in self-doubt like a tar-baby.
Join the H2H Community Meetup
Why not share your successes, hone your strategies and get new ideas from a community of like-minded folk who are on the same journey?
What better way to erase self-doubt, get much-needed support, and help others?
The H2H Community Meetup is a once-a month meetup online where I will answer questions, share insights, and teach you how to get the most out of Hopscotch to Happiness. Bonus materials, guest speakers, and in-person events are on tap. You won’t want to miss it! Look for details on my website in January, 2018!
The H2H Meetup…like having coffee with friends!!
Personalized help…from Nicole herself…
Would you like Nicole to design your H2H grid, complete with strategies, plan, and timeline? In just a few short sessions, you are guaranteed to be on the right path to success! With 2 personalized sessions, Nicole will also provide personalized exercises and materials to fit your exact situation, interests, and goals.
Imagine a life based on possibility, not “fixing” what’s not working
When your life feels out of control, nothing feels fun or worthwhile. If you are like most people, you can’t put your finger on just one thing that is bothering you. It’s EVERYTHING, and one problem seems somehow connected to the next.
Here’s your chance to break out of that endless feedback loop of dead ends, once and for all.
Here’s your chance to infuse change into your life that is real, lasting, and FUN.
Bring friends, make new ones.
What would your life be like if you could make real, impactful change on your significant relationships?
What would be different for you if you could see and feel a more healthy, vibrant physical body?
Can you imagine a life that is virtually free of anxiety, overwhelm, depression and crippling stress?
What would it be like to finally have control over your finances, to get your space organized, and be clutter-free?
Imagine connecting with a community of like-minded souls who are on a transformational path like you are, full of encouragement and support?
If you want to continue with what you are doing, getting the same results, I can’t stop you.
But if just one strategy worked, wouldn’t that be worth it?
LET’S DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!